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Reijers World: ‘Love is for losers’

by Reijer Breed in Columns & Opinions , 24 March 2015

Dit artikel is ook in het Nederlands beschikbaar
length: 4 minuten

It was Monday afternoon. I had an hour off from work and was walking on the Leidsestraat. Via the Prinsengracht I ended up at Raamstraat and entered the Thermos.

Sometime later, I was inside with my towel around my waist and the locker key around my wrist. At the bar I ordered a beer and lit a cigarette. Johan and Rein were sitting at the other end of the bar. I had known this couple for a while. “Well, well, well, slut,” Rein said. “In the sauna again?”

“You know it,” I said. I walked over to them and gave them a kiss. Johan and Rein had been living together for a long time on the Overtoom. Rein was ten years older than Johan, and I admired them for their honesty. They took turns in going upstairs. Back at the bar, they would tell each other about their adventures. They would do so very loudly, so that everyone would hear.

“Wanna go upstairs with me?,” Johan asked. “Of course,” I replied. Johan and I had a thing. Every time we saw each other we had to fuck in the sauna. Rein: “I just had a boy in a cabin who only wanted to kiss. When I pushed his head down to give me a blow job, he refused. Quite a character.” The people at the bar had to laugh. “Be quiet,” he said.

“There he is.” A timid boy sat down next to me. I shook his hand. “Reijer.” “Bas,” he said. Bas ordered a coke. “Well well, Bas,” Rein blared. “Are you enjoying yourself?” Bas turned red and replied: “Yes, I am. But I am looking for a boyfriend. I’m from Bussum.” “Well, you came to the right place. But I’m already taken, I have Johan. And he’s quite a handful. But don’t you worry, upstairs there are a lot more. Good luck!” We all tried not to laugh. I went upstairs with Johan and Rein gave me a slap on the butt and said: “Good luck girls.” We burst out laughing, and Johan pushed me up the stairs.

Later that afternoon I was naked, smoking a cigarette in a cabin. Once in a while, someone would lower the curtain for a peek. At one point, I noticed that someone was lingering. I saw a beautiful brown man and nodded. He was lying on top of me. “My name is Gregory. Can I fuck you?,” he asked. “Sure,” I said.

It was a very muscular American Indian with a bald head and a stripe of hair in the middle. He started slowly, but started pounding harder and harder. I thought: “Oh my God, I hope I can keep this up.” We were making a lot of noise, and a group of men started watching us. Loudly grunting, he came.

We continued lying next to each other for a while, and the spectators disappeared. “Can I ask you a question?,” he asked. “Of course,” I said. “Will you be nice to my brother too? If yes. I go and get him. Stay here. We will be back soon.” He disappeared and I waited.

After a while he came back with his brother. He pushed his brother in and said: “Gary, this is Reijer. The guy I just told you about.” Exactly the same man came into my cubicle. I held his bald head with both hands and felt that hard brushy strip of hair again. “I wanna fuck you hard,” Gary said. And again there was a loud grunt.

Downstairs, I started talking to Rein and Johan again. I told them what had happened to me. “First I made Gregory happy. And then he got his brother Gary,” I said. “Doll,” Rein shouted so that everyone would hear. “You got fucked by the Christmas Twins. They are lovely, and quite famous. They used to dance on Eartha Kitt’s supporting program.”

Eartha Kitt was born on January 17, 1927 on a cotton plantation in South Carolina. Her father was white, and her mother of mixed African-American and Cherokee descent. Her father soon disappeared and her mother died when Eartha was six. At eight, she was sent to New York to live with her aunt. Eartha had ballet training and after cabaret shows and a number of successful film roles, she scored a lot of hits in the 1950s and 1960s. One of the best known is: “Just an Old Fashioned Girl.”

I’m just an old fashioned girl with an old fashioned mind
Not sophisticated. I’m the sweet and simple kind
I want an old fashioned house, with an old fashioned fence
And an old fashioned millionaire

I want an old fashioned car, a cerise Cadillac
Long enough to put a bowling alley in the back
I want an old fashioned house, with an old fashioned fence
And an old fashioned millionaire

I ordered beers for Rein, Johan and myself. Johan treated to cigarettes. Meanwhile, Bas from Bussum joined us. “Well,” Rein enquired. “Did you find the love of your life yet?” “No, I didn’t,” Bas replied softly. “The men upstairs only want one thing.” “True, lovey,” Johan said. “We only come here to fuck. Love is for losers.”

* The twin brothers owned the coffee shop Backstage in the Utrechtsedwarsstraat in Amsterdam.
* Gregory Christmas died in 1997.
* In an interview with de Volkskrant Gary said: “My left side has been amputated.”
* Gary Christmas died in 2009.



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